Yesterday made me want to kill myself today. I can’t believe I woke up and got to BIAD, did what I had to do and came back home. The amount of shite that went through my head after talking and thinking about the past began to rear its ever so ugly head. What is it with me and women in general? I realised all three of my exs have low to ‘no’ self esteem, actually wait the first one had too much self esteem. Who died and made me the bearer or giver of self esteems? Bloody fuck. I am the ‘repairman’ of a sort. Both my ‘no’ self esteem exs seem to be running fine now. As if I’ve fixed them in a way and got paid jack for it. Labour of love you’d think. *rawrs* That word now pisses me off!! Why does everything has anything to do with love? Gawd, I hate being so fucking hopeless in matters of the heart. One would think that after an epic tale of such proportion, one would’ve at least wise up a bit on being hopeless and a tad bit cold. I guess I am hopeless through and through. So sue me if I tend to only see the good in other people, or if I always look on the bright side of life. It’s so fucking bright I think I’d be scorched with sunburns. Rin, you are right. What is it with me and women? It seems that we are never able to communicate well enough. Do I bloody scare them with my brute honesty? Does the level of intelligence have anything to do with it? Am I not up to par? Do we even speak the same language, because at some point we’re constantly at a lost of communication! I should’ve just been a penniless poet/musician. Maybe some emotions and expressions are better conversed through songs and poems. Spoken words tend to jump out the wrong way and cause misunderstandings on several levels. I think. No wait. I no longer think, because thinking only gets me into trouble. I shall be thought free throughout the rest of the day.