I ‘re’watched one of my favourite films earlier this evening. I watched it once when I was in secondary school, it was quite a controversial film at that time. There was nothing highly sexual or intimidating about the film. Many of my friends disliked it stating it was too slow for them and for some stupid reason our local censorship board did cut the film short. Citing that the film was too suggestive. What on earth were they thinking? Nevertheless, I watched a very butchered version of it and loved it. I think it was concised into only an hour. This is my second Wong Kar-Wai film, first one was ‘Chungking Express’. Brilliantly edited and the art direction/style was almost perfect. ‘In The Mood For Love’ would be my second one, from then on I realised I had a favourite Chinese director. All this while, I’ve been watching Kurosawa, Tarantino and Danny Boyle films. Now I can finally watch an arty farty and aesthetically shot Hong Kong film, that wasn’t about action and stunts. The second time I watched it, it was at my ex’s apartment in bleeding Saitama, of all the prefectures. She fell asleep half way through the film but I watched until the end because it was the first time I watched the entire film without it being butchered. The missing pieces of the plot was finally filled in after so many years and I was happy to rewatch these ‘missing’ scenes again on the same night.

I just finished going through the DVD, 2nd disc. It provided a full interview and other deleted scenes and even an alternate ending. I was happy to have found it in the Uni library. I now know why certain scenes were filmed in a way and why some of the scenes were omited. Now I know the entire story and oddly enough, I felt sad. As I watched the alternate ending and saw the scenery of Angkor Ruins. I cried. I don’t know why but I did. It reminded me of a few moments in my life where I wished I had a ruin with a hole to keep my secrets in. I think if I do go back to Siem Reap, I’d prolly burst out in tears. I can’t believe the thoughts and dreams that I had then about my life would change so drastically. Oh well, life goes on I suppose. I think at this point, I need a hole in the wall for me to whisper my secrets to.

I spoke to a few wonderful people this week. Actually it was last weekend, but yesterday afternoon was best. It is so good indeed to finally get to say the things you want to say to the people you’ve been meaning to say them too.

Ms Cookie, I hope everything went well. I know it is easier said than done but trust me, you’ll know what to do when the time comes. You’re one of the most level headed person I know, I trust that you will be able to manage well enough without letting your emotions cloud your judgement. My heart and hugs go out to you. Know that even when I’m not always online, you’re never far from my thoughts. Yes, I do keep a bit of my quiet time for you…as and when I do have it.

Ms J,babe it was so good to get to spend the afternoon with you. Times are rough and believe me when I say I know ‘exactly’ what you’re going through. I’ve had my fair share of insecurity and have lost countless amount of hope in my previous misadventures with all my exes. You remind me of the many experiences that I’ve had therefore I relate to what you say and how you feel. Enjoy your moment of peace where you are right now and take some time to chill. Heaven knows you need it. Can’t wait to see you when you get back from Manchester, we’ll be grabbing that coffee and making the baristas blush. *yes, our evil plans must proceed come rain or shine.*

Ms Rin, thanks for making my morning. I know you’ve got your worries and fears at what you’re doing. Believe me when I say that it’s all part of the game. This bloody game called ‘TOA’. No matter how difficult you think it is, just remember to always depend the ones you can trust. You’ve got your kitten and you know the kitten will be there for you in such times. It is by no means a cure it all’ remedy but it does help. So do what you must to make sure you finish the damn game and see you at the finishing line. I can’t promise I’ll be there immediately but fuck yes you’ll see me at some point after the damn race. ガンバレ！！

Sincerely, Red.x